When you're with me, you won't be pressured to do the things you're uncomfortable to do. I don't ask much. You don't have to be wild if you're the shy type of man. All I'm after is a meaningful conversation to make me sleep soundly at night.

Playing tennis was a way for me to release tension for years. Nowadays, I am often disappointed that it doesn't give me the same thrill anymore. Maybe fucking a dipstick would make me feel better, maybe those of the younger variety will do.

My husband is this bleedin' busy man. Who isn't gaffe much, and is gaffe for only a few days. He is knackered most of the time. Can ye help me out? All I'm looking 4 is a short time mafted -fun, aka leg over. I don't want him finding out, so let's be...

So what does an old lady like me have to do to get a bloke who can fuck me into oblivion? I've been alone for so long that I have already forgotten what it is like to have someone's breath against my skin.

Don't message me if you don't fancy a woman who stays in the shower for too long and who applies makeup on her face. Everything that I do is what makes me happy aside from you, and I don't want my happiness to be taken away from me just because of a ...

Not that person who steals her partner's food when she couldn't decide what to order. Well, sometimes I do, but I don't proceed to eat all of the food he ordered. When I do reach for his food, it's to have a taste of it and decide if I want it too.